A Mutherfuckin' Evening With Fabrice Fabrice

by Peter Aleksa

On Thursday I went to see a Mutherfuckin' Evening With Fabrice Fabrice, a (mostly) one-man improv performance/variety-show extravaganza at the Upright Citizen's Brigade Theatre hosted by Fabrice Fabrice, a very important person and also the craft-services coordinator for the hit tv show That's So Raven!

The quick wit and dance moves that have made Fabrice Fabrice an underground sensation on the craft services circuit (and in his appearances at UCB shows such as Broin' Out and Crash Test) were on display throughout the star-studded event, which featured such big names as President Gen. Pervez Musharraf of Pakistan, M. Night Shyamalan, and Aziz Ansari from Human Giant. Aziz and Fabrice recounted tales of their recent trip to Bonnaroo, where Fabrice mingled with dirty hippies. It wasn't all fun and games though. Fabrice was there to work. He spent much of his time serving food to comics such as Dmetri Martin, Flight of the Conchords' Jemaine Clement, and Lewis Black, and even took home top craft services honors!

Part way through the night, Fabrice showed he not only has a skill for craft services and cutting down 'Brooklyn' tshirt clad UES poseurs but a delicious judiciousness as well. It was time for Fabrice Court, where Judge Fabrice Fabrice--dressed in a fabulous Gucci/Oakley judges robe--tried a case of he said/she said. He said 'bitch stole my man', while she said not much of anything. I'm no court stenographer or anything (and Pabst was only $2) so I can't give you the exact play by play, but I can tell you the case was quickly settled and the harlot sent to jail for stealing the plaintiff's object of affection, J'Taurus. Luckily for all, bailiff Maurice Maurice was able to solve the case of the missing vowels.

Just when I thought I had a grasp on who Fabrice Fabrice really is as a man, he stunned me, and the rest of the audience alike, with a rousing slam poetry performance, in which he gave the audience a glimpse of his inner rage and touched on such important topics as oppression, chest hair, Harry Potter, and Nicholas Cage.

Fabrice ended his show by taking questions from the audience and used the opportunity to teach everyone in the room a few things about life, love, colon-cleansing meat products, the history of teabagging, and Paris Hilton's boring ass dead eyes. I'm sure I'm not alone when I say this, but tbt, it changed my life.

Sadly (for those of us in NY at least), Fabrice Fabrice will be moving out to Los Angeles with his "good friend" Nick Kroll, another UCB staple (who you may have also seen on VH1's Best Week Ever or Comedy Central's I Love the 30's). Kroll will be starring as one of the cavemen in a new ABC show based on the Geico cavemen commercials and got Fabrice a gig working craft services for the show. So, if you're in LA, be sure to check him out at UCB LA, or Fabrice Fabrice will cut your face til you look like Seal!